Homecoming: A Celebration of Life After Transition Part 1

“How I feel and how I’ve always felt when I was younger is that I was a little girl. You know, I was so confused with the identity that people would place upon me. You know, “You’re a little boy, you should like boy things.” So for me, it was such a confusing time because I knew who I was. I knew exactly how I am and how I identified. And at such a young age, me and my sister, we just both knew without a doubt. My twin sister, who I transitioned with, I wouldn’t be here today without her. I can say that much. How it came about is that we both had these feelings of who we are and who we’re supposed to be. And without her, I would not be where I am today because she’s given me the strength and the courage to continue to fight through all the obstacles, to continue to move forward on days that are hard, that I just don’t want to. I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t feel like I look like who I am and how the world sees me. And then, you know, she’s there. She’s always there.

Being transgender in the south is probably one of the hardest experiences that one can imagine. You get stuck in this old way of traditional thinking, this old way of stereotypical thinking. And how I’ve navigated that, I had to be myself. I had to not let anybody know that I was trans. So after that point of my transition, I started my journey of becoming stealth because it just makes life easier. It makes life where I don’t have as much trouble, where I won’t have as many obstacles. And luckily, I was passing enough in my outer appearance where it escaped me. But there were instances where it was scary. There were times where I felt like I was going to be murdered, especially going out and being social. And it kind of stopped me from wanting to live life. It kind of stopped me from wanting to be a social butterfly and just be normal.

I think being a woman is such a phenomenal experience and such a phenomenal part of who I am and how I express myself in the world that shows everyone I’m a woman. But there’s so much more internally to what women are and how women navigate life. It’s completely different. And to be able to align myself with that at such an early age and to be able to know who I am is such an empowering experience. And I think people get so lost. “You are born a man.” No, you were just born. You were born a human. You were born a human. And I think people get stuck in this binary. They get stuck in that, and that’s not fair. That’s not how it should operate. There have been many cultures that have operated differently. You know, we have decided that this is how it’s going to be. No, we get to. We have so many capabilities, and I believe that spiritually and soulfully, we are who we know we’re supposed to be. So for me, navigating womanhood and what a woman is supposed to be is so inherent in my being. I just… I don’t know anything else.

It’s another part of my identity to label myself as a Christian. I am a Christian trans woman, and I want people to realize that the Bible is not a weapon. The Bible is not a tool for condemnation. It’s not a tool for people to criticize, to place judgment, to say that you’re not Christian enough. And I think with the vitriol and hatred that unfortunately a lot of Christians portray towards the LGBT community, it really hurts the message of who and what God is. And God is, first and foremost, love. God created everyone equal. God created everyone to be exactly who they are, and God knew everybody from the moment they were before they were born. So my relationship with God… God knew that I was trans. God knew, and God allowed me the courage, the strength, and the possibility to be able to transition. And through that, I have found strength. So a part of my identity is that I’m a Christian trans woman, and it has allowed me to feel completely accepted and loved. And it’s something that a lot of trans people need: love.”